Softening Orders with the Past Tense

When we give instructions and orders in a formal setting, or when we express opinions or make suggestions, we sometimes need to soften what we say in order to be less direct and to sound polite. Direct orders usually use the imperative form; Do this!, for example, which is not always appropriate, and can sound rude.

To avoid these problems, we can start our sentences by using past tense verbs like, I thought perhaps…, or I was wondering…, or We hoped you would… etc.

Here is an example.

I thought perhaps you should reconsider the authentication method for SSH CLI access.

This sentence doesn’t really sound like an order, but it does contain the idea that the speaker wants the listener to reconsider the authentication method. It has been softened by the past tense verb, I thought, and by the use of an adverb of possibility, perhaps, which makes the sentence even less direct. 

Let’s look at two more examples.

I was wondering if we could enable client hardware address checks to avoid spoofed packets.

In this example, the speaker wants this to happen, but softens the sentence, perhaps because it is just a suggestion at this point. 

Here is the next example.

We hoped you would reconsider addressing the security flaws in the default configuration.

In this one, the speaker shows that they want something to happen, and that it has been discussed beforehand. We hoped you would... is like saying we want you to.... 

In all the examples, we see past tense verbs, which soften what comes next.

Other typical softening phrases include: Would you mind…? Do you think…? I’d like you to…?